so many things i wanted to say,
but as i face the screen,
im lost for words.
"Many things will catch your eye, but only some will catch your heart."
i hate this lonely feeling.
you were too nice to me.
too nice.
so nice that i've become dependent on you.
i cant seem to do without you.
i seem to become greedy and want alot from you.
that's bad.
i sat at the couch in the council room,
stared into blank space.
chinrong asked if i was okay,
they tried to cheer me up.
i cheered up and started playing with them.
but i didnt manage to get rid of the lonely feeling.
as i sat in the bus,
i looked at the empty seat beside me.
wild thoughts ran through my mind.
my eyes felt hot,
i could feel the wetness in them.
i looked outside of the bus.
i wondered why the bus ride seemed so long,
compared to the other times.
i felt like switching off my phone,
so that i wont keep looking at it to see if you replied.
but i didnt,
i figured out that i would switch it on in less than a minute because i didnt want to miss your message.
as the music played on my phone,
i wonder why all the sad songs kept playing.
you finally replied my message.
i could sense unhappiness in the message.
i didnt want to reply.
i picked up my phone and wanted to type,
but i put it down.
i picked it up again,
and put it down again.
i decided to reply because i didnt want you to think that i was angry.
but i failed to reply in my normal tone with all the 'hahahaha's and smileys.
but i still wanna assure you that i still love you.
i am not angry, im just affected.
i know you tried, i tried too. but i failed.
but i'll get over it.
i reached home, laid down on the couch,
my eyes turned hot and wet again.
this time it reached the brink.
i forced myself not to blink.
i quickly sat up and walked around.
the tears didnt roll down,
i looked into the mirror,
my eyes were red.
but i'll get over it.
i'm sure.
we still got a long way to go, boyfriend.
like what you say,
tomorrow will be a better day.
yes,
TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY!
rachael will get over this.
now, give a call to yuan,
tell him i love him,
and do math homework.
add oil rachael,
you can do it.
:)
